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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678686">Drifting In A Sea Of Sorrow, You're My Anchor</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxxbookaholic/pseuds/xxxbookaholic'>xxxbookaholic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - No Killing Game (Dangan Ronpa), Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Roommates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:09:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,772</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28678686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxxbookaholic/pseuds/xxxbookaholic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There were a lot of things Shuichi had found himself capable of.<br/>Waking up in the morning wasn't one of them.</p><p> </p><p>Shuichi has a bad day.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Quality Fics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Drifting In A Sea Of Sorrow, You're My Anchor</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>*this fic references depression and a feeling of helplessness! it's mostly comfort but this stands as a warning*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>   There were a lot of things Shuichi had found himself capable of. He was capable of catching criminals, solving cold cases, and investigating corpses. He was capable of making it onto the news, helping his uncle around the agency, and deducing culprits. What he found he wasn’t capable of, however, was waking up on time.</p><p>   This small problem was proven by the beeping at his side. His alarm had been going off for a whole five minutes and yet he’d done nothing but stare at his ceiling, feeling more like the former super high school level doll than the former super high school level detective. He was like an unfinished puzzle, pieces scattered all across the ground and not where they were supposed to be.</p><p>   He pulled his blankets even farther up, covering his chin and trying his best to shield his body from the fan blowing directly onto him. His body felt like lead; the bed under him rocked without even moving an inch, making him feel like he was floating in space or on a rickety sail boat. It reminded him of when he traveled with Rantaro for the first time, looking over the foamy ocean and wondering for just a second what it would be like to fall in.</p><p>   His curtains weren’t doing a very good job of keeping his room dark; light still shined through them, coating the ground in a dull blue that made him want to turn off the sun. Shuichi closed his eyes but he could still see the colors. Reds and greens dotted his vision, becoming the form of squares, circles, and squiggles.</p><p>   He was just about to flip around in an attempt to block out the culprit of his discomfort when he heard the door creak open, hinges squealing and doorknob banging. “Shumai?” A familiar voice called from the entrance to his room, getting closer and closer as time passed. Pretty soon, the mattress dipped, putting a stop to the rocking. “Don’t tell me you’re still asleep! The alarm has been going on <em>forever</em>.”</p><p>   Shuichi cracked an eye open but still didn’t sit up, fingers tightening around his blanket. “It’s only been seven minutes.” His voice came out quieter than he’d intended it to and his throat hurt from how dry it was.</p><p>   “That’s practically the same as three hours!” The boy sitting at the end of his (their) bed complained, throwing up his hands in frustration. Purple curls bounced around his neck, and Shuichi decided to focus on those strands of hair instead of his hurt eyes. “Are your dreams seriously better than <em>me</em>?”</p><p>   “Yeah.” Shuichi couldn’t even bother to apologize or rethink his phrasing. All he wanted to do was sink back into his sheets and vanish, because doing so would be better than the embarrassment of failing to do something as simple as sit up.</p><p>   Kokichi was silent for a few seconds. A pout had taken over the whole lower half of his face, but it was obvious that he wasn’t actually upset about the comment. Rather, he scanned Shuichi’s face, eyes sharp. “I know that’s a lie. You told me you don’t remember your dreams.”</p><p>   Shuichi’s face twisted into a sour expression without permission. Curse Kokichi and his stupidly good memory. “Sorry,” he muttered, kicking weakly at the blankets with his foot. Sweat dripped down his face for more than one reason, making him feel sticky and gross.</p><p>   “You should be!” Kokichi said without any real bite, lips pulled into a tight smile. He held his arms out on either side, eyes intense. “I demand a hug as an apology!”</p><p>   “Is it for me or for you?” Shuichi asked but shoved himself into the embrace nonetheless. There wasn’t much else he could do at the moment, since even just opening his eyes felt like torture. Kokichi tightened his grip on his boyfriend’s shoulders and buried his face in his neck.</p><p>   “It’s for both of us! If Shumai’s sad, I’m sad!” At that, Shuichi allowed himself to relax, practically melting against Kokichi’s chest. Surprisingly, he didn’t cry. Sobbing felt like an impossible feat at the moment, with the way his lips cracked.</p><p>   “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, tracing circles on Kokichi’s hip absent-mindedly. “I don’t want you to be sad.”</p><p>   “Then you need to focus on getting better! That’s the only way to help me,” Kokichi demanded, not pulling away for a second. His words were sure but his tone was careful, like he was talking to a scared cat and not a grown man. <em>That’s easier said than done.</em></p><p>   If Kokichi were to have asked for something else, like cuddles, compliments, or money, Shuichi would have agreed immediately, because it was simpler to take care of other people than to take care of himself. By that point, he wasn’t even sure how to.</p><p>   “I’ll try,” Shuichi settled for, closing his eyes. He didn’t want to lie, not in a situation like theirs.</p><p>   “You better,” Kokichi whispered into his ear. He sounded wide-awake, a direct contrast to Shuichi’s drowsiness. “If you don’t, I’ll have to kill you! And neither of us want that, right?”</p><p>   “I don’t know,” Shuichi mumbled. “I don’t know.”</p><p>   “You don’t,” Kokichi said firmly, pulling away so they could look each other in the eye. “You have to live because you just have to. Plus, you have a totally awesome supreme leader partner? People would kill to be in your shoes! That’s the only reason you need, isn’t it?” He pressed a quick kiss to Shuichi’s shoulder. “So don’t start giving up now.”</p><p>   The bed didn’t stop shaking beneath Shuichi, his eyes didn’t stop burning, and his throat didn’t clear up, but a weight felt like it was being lifted off his shoulders at Kokichi’s encouragement. “I’m not going to.”</p><p>   “Good,” Kokichi nodded to himself and then jumped off the bed, grin back in place. “I reserved a seat at a breakfast café while you were acting all mopey so get up and get dressed already! I’m not going to let you torture yourself like this.”</p><p>   “Can’t I just stay in bed today?” Shuichi begged, but Kokichi didn’t give in. If anything, he became even more insistent.</p><p>   “Nuh uh! Not on my watch! Come on, up, up! I’ll help,” Kokichi promised, grabbing his wrist and yanking him out of bed. Shuichi sighed but followed his boyfriend’s lead. There was no getting out of this one. Besides, he didn’t want to waste Kokichi’s time and money. The least he could do was show up and act like a functioning human being.</p><p>   Kokichi looked through their joint closet and eventually came out holding sweatpants and a hoodie. His eyes were bright as he threw them on the bed. “It’s snowing outside so I don’t want to risk you getting sick,” he explained. “Now put that on while I look for your hairbrush. It has to be around here somewhere.”</p><p>   Shuichi stared at the clothes, dumbfounded. It wasn’t like he wasn’t used to such a fast-paced life. Ever since moving in with Kokichi, things had been non-stop moving. Sometimes, however, he would have mornings like this and he’d just wish things would slow down a bit.</p><p>   Defeated, Shuichi changed his clothes facing away from the mirror, determined not to look at his reflection. He was certain he looked terrible, more like a ghost than a detective. In the time it took for him to tie his drawstrings, Kokichi sauntered over with a brush in hand and sat him down on the bed, jumping up to sit next to him.</p><p>   “Wow, Shumai, your hair is a mess!” He commented while he brushed. Shuichi didn’t even notice the pain of knots being pulled and prodded at. Everything was numb and cold. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to turn off the fan.</p><p>   Kokichi was done before he knew it, tossing the brush into a random drawer on the bedside table and grabbing his hand. “Well, what are you waiting for? We have to get going!” He laughed, pulling him up and out of their room. Shuichi just barely had time to grab his hat before he was being shoved out the door.</p><p>   Kokichi was right, it was freezing outside. Snow coated the ground in clumps and flakes fell onto his eyelashes, blurring his vision. “I should have brought mittens,” he said, more to himself than anyone else.</p><p>   “Oh no!” Kokichi said without falter. “That’s awful, Shumai! But we’re too far away from the house to get it now, <em>right</em>?” He didn’t sound apologetic in the slightest.</p><p>   “The house is right there,” Shuichi pointed a few feet behind him and, low and behold, the house was sitting right there, shining blue and contrasting against the winter wonderland.</p><p>   “No it’s not,” Kokichi insisted. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to hold hands then. What a bummer! I didn’t want to do this, but you leave me no choice!” Without another word, he intertwined their fingers and squeezed.</p><p>   The smirk that had once been on his face turned soft as Shuichi stared back at him, eyes cloudy. Shuichi didn’t bother to argue. He couldn’t really find a reason to when Kokichi’s hand was so warm on his own and made him feel much safer than any mitten could.</p><p>   They walked in silence for a while until Kokichi finally broke it, his voice unusually serious. “I don’t want you to feel scared,” he began, picking out his words carefully. “You deserve to be loved, Shumai. All of your days are spent taking care of other people and solving murders, and that’s great, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t hurting just as much as your clients.”</p><p>   Shuichi stared directly in front of him. “Shumai, look at me,” Kokichi ordered without any edge. Shuichi reluctantly obeyed, looking back at him. “I love you, and so do so many other people. Kaede does, stinky Kaito does, Maki does. We want you to be happy.”</p><p>   “I know,” Shuichi sighed. “I’ll try to take better care of myself. For you.”</p><p>   “For me,” Kokichi agreed before continuing down the sidewalk. “But don’t forget that it’s for you, too.”</p><p>   This time, the silence that fell over them wasn’t interrupted by anything but soft breaths and occasional sniffles. Shuichi couldn’t say that he suddenly felt perfect, safe, or even really happy. But he could say he felt better, and that was greater than nothing, wasn’t it?</p><p>   It seemed that Kokichi agreed, for when Shuichi tilted his head to get a better look, there was a small, self-satisfied smile replacing his usually sadistic grin.</p><p>   Shuichi squeezed his hand and the once-scattered pieces were put together again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you were able to enjoy this fic! The beginning of this was actually written months ago and I just now decided to get around to finishing it. I'm actually pretty happy with how this turned out, even if it isn't my best work. <br/>Please leave a comment (and kudos) if you can! It really encourages me and keeps me writing. <br/>Have a nice rest of your day/night.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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